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Did you know I went to 11 schools in my whole life?
And I can’t even count the number of home addresses I’ve had .
I was always the new girl and all I wanted was ‘TO BE NORMAL’ and be accepted.
It was no easy task.
But soon enough I developed an amazing skill of adapting to my environment, and the people around me.
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And i found myself having the habits of:
Mimicking other people’s behaviour and expressions (I was even bullied for this)
Repressing and hiding different parts me
and when that’s not enough
Forcing to Change who I am
JUST TO FIT IN.
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I thought that was going to be enough, that I’ll finally belong, and that I’ll finally be accepted, and that I’ll finally be happy.
Little did I know that in the process I have also dimmed my own light.
Slowly… but surely..
My truth was buried.
But as you can probably guess… it didn’t make me happy.
I can ‘connect’ with people but still feel so ALONE .
And I don’t think I’ve ever felt anything worse than feeling LONELY even when you’re not alone.
It was depressing.
There came a point in my life when I just got so fed up and I knew I wanted things to be different.
And it’s only when I started the path of self discovery, self awareness and spirituality, that I realised….
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ALL I NEEDED WAS TO ACCEPT ALL PARTS OF ME …
The dirty
The ugly
The disgusting
The noisy
The bad
The selfish
The lazy
The Imperfect Me
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And when I did…
I felt the shift!
The world responded to my own self-love and self-acceptance.
And the more I released the layers and layers of masks I’ve built around myself….
The more I felt like I was enough, isn’t it funny that when I no longer ‘needed’ acceptance from others, I finally got it?
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The lesson?
You can only receive the love and acceptance (from others) on the level that you are willing to give yourself.
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Speaking of lessons…
My biggest take away when I was on level 5 of The Spiral…
Is a reminder that:
ALL VERSIONS AND PARTS OF ME DESERVE EXPRESSION.
When I started focusing on becoming a Spiral Practitioner and a Coach, I thought I had to ‘kill’ my Artist self.
No wonder I’ve felt unstable in my stance! I literally cut off half of who I am and denied it’s expressions!!
So prepare to see THE ARTIST REBORN, reclaiming her space!
Any request for an art work, face painting, special effects, makeup look?? 
x Sarah S.
*photos credit to the owners
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