August 28, 2020

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Did you know I went to 11 schools in my whole life? ⁣

And I can’t even count the number of home addresses I’ve had .

I was always the new girl and all I wanted was ‘TO BE NORMAL’ and be accepted. ⁣

It was no easy task⁣.

But soon enough I developed an amazing skill of adapting to my environment, and the people around me. ⁣

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And i found myself having the habits of:⁣

undecided Mimicking other people’s behaviour and expressions (I was even bullied for this)⁣
yell Repressing and hiding different parts me⁣
and when that’s not enough ⁣
cry Forcing to Change who I am⁣

JUST TO FIT IN.

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I thought that was going to be enough, that I’ll finally belong, and that I’ll finally be accepted, and that I’ll finally be happy. ⁣

Little did I know that in the process I have also dimmed my own light. ⁣

Slowly… but surely.. ⁣

My truth was buried.⁣

But as you can probably guess… it didn’t make me happy.⁣

I can ‘connect’ with people but still feel so ALONE . ⁣

And I don’t think I’ve ever felt anything worse than feeling LONELY even when you’re not alone. ⁣

It was depressing.⁣

There came a point in my life when I just got so fed up and I knew I wanted things to be different. ⁣

And it’s only when I started the path of self discovery, self awareness and spirituality, that I realised….⁣

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 ALL I NEEDED WAS TO ACCEPT ALL PARTS OF ME … ⁣


The dirty⁣
The ugly⁣
The disgusting⁣
The noisy ⁣
The bad⁣
The selfish⁣
The lazy⁣
The Imperfect Me⁣

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And when I did… ⁣

I felt the shift! ⁣

The world responded to my own self-love and self-acceptance.⁣

And the more I released the layers and layers of masks I’ve built around myself….⁣

The more I felt like I was enough, isn’t it funny that when I no longer ‘needed’ acceptance from others, I finally got it?⁣

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The lesson?⁣

You can only receive the love and acceptance (from others) on the level that you are willing to give yourself. ⁣

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Speaking of lessons…⁣⁣

My biggest take away when I was on level 5 of The Spiral…

⁣Is a reminder that: ⁣⁣

ALL VERSIONS AND PARTS OF ME DESERVE EXPRESSION.

⁣⁣When I started focusing on becoming a Spiral Practitioner and a Coach, I thought I had to ‘kill’ my Artist self. ⁣⁣

No wonder I’ve felt unstable in my stance! ⁣⁣I literally cut off half of who I am and denied it’s expressions!! ⁣⁣

So prepare to see THE ARTIST REBORN, reclaiming her space! ⁣⁣

Any request for an art work, face painting, special effects, makeup look?? ⁣kisskisskiss

 

Sarah S.

*photos credit to the owners

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