May 21, 2021

You say, “I stand against bullying.” And in your next sentence, you bully the kid. If you preach something, make sure you walk your talk.  You can’t solve a problem if you are part of the problem.

Cyberbullying is real and it may not be physical, but its wounds are deep too.

You’ll probably say it’s okay to bully a bully, but I’m sorry to say that you’re wrong. You can not right a wrong with another “wrong”. Justifying being mean, threatening someone, or hurting someone based on who the victim is, is exactly the same mindset of being a bully- it’s twisted. 

I HAVE been bullied, but I am also brave enough to admit that I was also a bully to others. I grew up, learned from it, owned up to my mistakes, and even said sorry to those whom I’ve hurt. I think if we’re all honest with ourselves, we’d admit that in one way or another, we have been bullies too, in school, workplace, at home, and even to friends.  Even bullying as a joke stops being funny when you’re the only one laughing.

Bullying is never okay, but it’s one of the problems that are real and happening and is going to take a collective effort to solve.

This is going to be an unpopular and misunderstood opinion…

I also feel sorry for the bully too. My first reaction is to question, why would he do that?

  • What insecurities does he experience that he resorts to demanding superiority over others?
  • What emotional pain and rejection do he go through that he is incapable of feeling empathy towards others?
  • And what future does he have if he continues to walk through this path?

To everyone who is back-lashing, threatening, and just being mean to the bully, I suggest you all take a look at the mirror and ask yourselves (be honest), what am I gaining by being mean and threatening the kid? 

More importantly, what are you contributing to? The problem or the solution?

Ask yourselves, is there a better way to show my sympathy and support to the victim AND not be part of the problem?Everyone – look within. If you’re a parent, check your behavior. Check the environment that your child goes home to. Communicate with your partner and with your kids.

If you’re a victim of a bully, be brave, speak up. People are more willing to help than you think. People care – your teachers, your parents, your friends care.

No one has the right to EVER make you feel less of a person. You are valued, you are worthy, you are unique, and you have a purpose in this world.

If you’re the bully – inspect yourself. And I’m not talking about just the kid. I’m talking to bullies in the workplace, bullies behind keyboards, bullies to your friends.

Why do you have to put others down? I hope you, yourself realize your own value too. Then you’ll know that you don’t need to step on others to stand taller.

I’m sending all my love to those involved in the situation. To the victims, I hope you heal from this incident and make it a turning point in overcoming all future bullies in your life. It is a wake-up call that when a bully chooses to hurt you, that’s because they see you as weak.

It’s time to prove them wrong. I tell you, if you face your monsters now, nothing will be too big or too scary in your life. Appreciate that life has presented you, even if it’s difficult to understand for now, with a valuable lesson. 

We might never, ever rid the world of all its bullies, but we can definitely become stronger and better at facing them and making them stop.

Respect, Love, and Light.

xSarah

P.S.

This is not in any way an attempt to defend the bully. It is a call to inspect ourselves. I don’t want this article to start a nonsense sarcastic debate but I welcome sensible arguments that focus on a solution – and not on adding insult to injury.  I know it’s difficult, if not impossible, and even “delusional” for some to show love for something where hate seems to be easier. But we are all after the same thing – to stop bullying.  innocent

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